this really works for some people (like 10-30 new followers) so give it a try!
someone who isnt drunk (via smallvagina)
I’m going to nickname my child lil Bitch
i see you’re passing on the family name
THE FIRST TIME I GOT HIGH I GOT REALLY INSPIRED AND I WROTE DOWN A BEAUTIFUL SONG AND I THOUGHT IT WAS SO GREAT AND ORIGINAL AND MOVING BUT THEN A FEW DAYS LATER WHEN I WASN’T HIGH I FOUND IT ON MY FLOOR AND REALIZED I HAD JUST WRITTEN DOWN THE LYRICS TO FIREWORK BY KATY PERRY
Summer: FUCKING HOT
one time i forced my mom to play pokemon for at least half an hour and all she did was catch a butterfree and name it lowfat
“sir could you please put away your yugioh cards? this is a job interview”
"wait is that a blue eyes white dragon? you’re hired"